Love and Marriage Part 3 The First Marriage

Whose idea was marriage? Why are so many disillusioned, even angry and bitter, after only a few months of marriage?  We are looking at God's Word to find answers. 
Welcome to part 3 of Love and Marriage and Voice of Gospel Radio.  God's blessing be upon sister WenWen as she proclaims the gospel through internet radio.
Most husbands and wives believe their greatest marital struggle exists OUTSIDE of their own self.  If only my husband..or if only my wife...Complete this with your own thoughts of what needs to change in your spouse.  However, this is not the true problem.

Our greatest struggle in the marriage relationship lies in our own self!  We are sinners. 

We do and say wrong things because we live to please ourselves.  Sin in its fundamental form is anti-social.  Sin whispers in our ear that we should love ourselves more than we love anything or anyone else.  We are attracted to that beautiful woman or that handsome man because we think that this person loves us as much as we love ourselves!  We are not attracted to that man or that woman because we actually love them!  Please review Part 2 of this series about true love.  We must conclude the truth.  I am my greatest marriage problem!
Has marriage always been full of conflict and problems?   Please look with me into Genesis chapter 1 through chapter 3 to find truth. We will learn that God is the creator of marriage!  Genesis 1 tells of the creation of mankind.  Verses 27 through 29 read as follows. Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that  moves on the earth." Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you;" NASB.
This is the overview of the creation of mankind.  Next in chapter 2 we read the details of this account from chapter 1.  Notice verses 7, 8, 15 through 25. Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.  The LORD God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed. Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;  but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not  eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die."

 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."   Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.  The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for  Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God  fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh;  She shall be called  Woman, Because  she was taken out of  Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." NASB.

We must understand these words to know how to have a marriage without regrets.  Notice in verse 27 and 28 of chapter 1 that mankind was created in the image of God.  God is a spirit and so we cannot see Him.  He is self existent which means God has no creator.  God exists outside of time and is all knowing of what we call the past, present and future.  The image of God means that mankind was made to know God in an intimate way, to have the ability to communicate with God and to enjoy this relationship.  Mankind shares some of the attributes of God.  For example man is able to love.  Animals cannot love as a man can. Man can show patience and express joy and give to another without thought of any personal benefit.  Man can demonstrate compassion and show mercy to an enemy. Both the male and female are made in the image of God.  The woman is not made lower than the man. Both are given their life work. This is to exercise dominion or rule over all the rest of the created earth.  Mankind is to steward or be God's representative rule over the world that God created.  Man will be held accountable or responsible for how well he does this work. Mankind is also told to be fruitful in their rule.  They are to produce children and fill the world.  God did not create multiple mankind.  From only two, the first man and the first woman, all the peoples of the world are descended. I don't look Chinese, however, I am sister to the Chinese!

In chapter two we read of how exactly God made the male part of mankind.  God did not speak the man into existence.  No, God formed from the dust of the ground.  God fashioned with great care and expertise the human body.  Then God breathed into the nostrils of man the breath of life.  Man became a living soul.  Man has three parts, the physical body, the soul which is the mind, will and emotions and the spirit, which is the part that is in the image of God.  The soul expresses the life of the spirit.  The body allows us to move about and interact with our environment, to reproduce after our kind and to enjoy with the physical senses the beauty and majesty of the creation of God.  Our physical bodies also allow us to express our joy and love and gratitude and praises to our Creator God. God took the male body He made and put him into a garden to work the garden.  One simple rule was given the man.  Man was not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or he would die.  We will study this in another lesson.  So the man was given his work of naming the animals.  To name someone is to have authority and rule over that which is named.  Why was the woman or female made? God said it is not good for the man to be alone.  God would make a helper suitable for the male.  Now many do not understand this.  God did not make a slave or servant for the male. Remember, chapter one says that both male and female are in the image of God and both were given dominion over all the earth.  Notice also that the female was not made from dust. She was taken from the body of the male, from his rib.  God then fashioned the body of the female from this rib of the male.  Also, God brought the female to the male.  Adam recognized that the female was from his own body. The woman was not taken from the feet of the man. She was from the part of his body nearest his heart.  The woman was not to be as a slave or to be beaten and kicked around in anger.  The woman was to complement the man.  The man was not complete without the woman. 

Now we read of the first marriage and how all other marriages must function to make for a harmonious life.  Chapter 2 verse 24 states that For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.  At first this seems strange.  The first man, who is named Adam, has no mother or father! God created Adam.  However, God is here establishing the way the families of the earth are to form new families.  Let's look at the two words, "leave" and "cleave".  A young man who decides to marry must also purpose to form a relationship with his wife that honors his wife. What do I mean? Simply this.. to cleave to the woman, to become one flesh is much more than sexual union.  A young man's parents are still to be available for counsel, but the man must share the intimate things of his heart life with his wife..no longer with his mother or father.  Yes in a happy marriage, some things will be shared only between the husband and wife.  The wife is not the servant of her mother in law or her father in law.  Remember, to leave.. this is to start a new home.  The wife and the husband will have the responsibility to train their own children. This is not the job of the grandparents.  Adult children still honor and respect the elderly parents; however,  the son must tell his parents that his wife is the Queen of the home and there is only one Queen.  The grandchildren are not to be pampered and spoiled as young Emperors or Empresses. Certainly grandparents play an essential part of the family. We will talk of this in another lesson.

The first marriage was perfect. Adam and his wife knew no shame.  What happened? Next post, we will talk about how sin entered the world. 

Love and Marriage Part 2 Love

We continue to give thanks to Voice of Gospel Radio and sister WenWen.  Of course all glory to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who is Love incarnate. 
What is love? If you are a woman, perhaps you have dreams of a man who will be that final piece in the puzzle completing your idea of a husband who will help you reach your goals for life.  Is this love? Perhaps only 'love of self'.  Contrary to popular opinion, love is NOT an emotion or feeling. The Bible defines love by an event.

Love is defined by the cross of Jesus Christ.  Love involves a willing self sacrifice for the benefit of another.  True love also doesn't demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is worthy of the sacrifice.

Romans 5:8 states,  But God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful. CEV.   The Message says it this way, verses 5-8. "Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him."
Just as Christ Jesus offered Himself in sacrificial love, so we must in the marriage give love to the spouse who is totally undeserving of our love and unable to give love in return.
Love is a command.  In John 15, verses 12-13, Jesus explains the kind of love He expects of His followers. "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.  There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." NLT.
In Matthew's gospel, Jesus further explains the limits of love this way; 'You have heard people say, "Love your neighbors and hate your enemies." But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. If you love only those people who love you, will God reward you for that? Even tax collectors love their friends.' Matthew 5:43-46 CEV.
1 Corinthians 13 is known as the 'love chapter' in the Word of God.  Let's see why this is true.  Evaluate YOUR love by the Word of God, ok?
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.  If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love." Verses 1-8a, 13
NLT.

What does this look like? Ladies, this means that when you forgive your husband for a wrong, you never bring this up again because love keeps no record of being wronged. Verse 5 means love is not touchy, or fretful or resentful.  Verse 7 is sometimes translated that love is always supportive and believes the best about someone.  Love covers. 


If you have trouble loving your spouse, spend some time meditating on this passage of Scripture.  Why did God show mercy and grace to you? Because you were lovely and deserved it?
"Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins.  You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.  All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else.  But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much,  that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)" Ephesians 2, verses 1-5, NLT.

God gives grace and mercy. Go and do likewise.

Next time we will talk about Marriage and What is Sin? and What is Biblical forgiveness? We welcome your comments and questions.

Love and Marriage Part 1 Worship

Welcome to Voice of Gospel Radio and sister WenWen's messages for both home and community life. Today we speak about the topic, Love and Marriage.  We wish to use thoughts from author/teacher Paul David Tripp.  If you have access to youtube, many of his messages are available in this format. 
Many of our listeners see marriages that are not happy marriages.  Perhaps you are in a very unhappy marriage.  These messages are for you!  Let's consider this thought by Paul Tripp. He says that a marriage displaying unity, understanding and love isn't rooted or centered in romance. Rather it is centered in WORSHIP.  Yes, worship.  Do we mean the time a person spends in a building where the Bible is read, songs sung, an offering of money or goods given for the use of the Kingdom of God?  No. We mean more than this. We are all worshipers.  Worship is that to which a person attaches the innermost sense of well-being.  This may include our understanding of "god".  However, this might be another person, our self, or things of material nature.  Worship is what gives a person meaning and purpose in all of our decisions, dreams, actions, and reactions. So worship is first our identity.  Next worship is our activity.
Jesus speaks of "treasure".  We all seek after treasure.  Treasure is what is intrinsically valuable to me. Most people put forth great effort to obtain what is valuable to them.  The type of treasure you seek in your marriage will produce the character your will experience in your marriage.  What controls my heart determines how I respond to others around me.
Jesus said in Matthew 6, verses 19-21, “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.  Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.  Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." NLT.
Before we can understand that a Biblical marriage must be rooted in worship, not romance, we must understand the meaning of "love" as used in the Bible. 
Please join me in the next Voice of Gospel Radio to learn about What is Love? and how does 'love' relate to Marriage!

Christian Modesty...Salvation, the undergarment.. What about the Outer Garment?

Dear Readers,
We remember in prayer today sister WenWen and Voice of Gospel Radio.   We give thanks to God for His gift of new life in Christ Jesus.
 Recently we celebrated Resurrection Sunday.  Many ladies and young women were dressed in lovely new colorful dresses.  These dresses symbolized the new life a believer has in Christ Jesus.
Last Post we talked about how God clothes us with the garments of salvation and covers us with the robe of righteousness. This is the undergarment. 
Let's look now at what God expects of us as Christian women. Let's learn more about the outer garments.

Romans 13:14 NIV says: Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. [Or the flesh]

Galatians 3:27 NASB: For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

Ephesians 4:24 NASB: and put on the new self, which  in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
Colossians 3:10 NASB: and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him—
Colossians 3:12-14 NASB: So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and  patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

STUDY OF THE WORD:

Thayer's Lexicon has this to say about "clothe" in these verses..

"to become so possessed of the mind of Christ as in thought, feeling and action to resemble Him, and as it were, reproduce the life He lived."

The Greek word, endyo, translated as clothe or "put on" means to clothe oneself, to literally sink into a garment.
Let's study each of these last two passages in context.
Ephesians 4:17-32 NLT
Living as Children of Light
 ¹⁷ With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. ¹⁸ Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. ¹⁹ They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. ²⁰ But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. ²¹ Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, ²² throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. ²³ Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ²⁴ Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
 ²⁵ So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. ²⁶ And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
 ²⁸ If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. ²⁹ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
 ³⁰ And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
 ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

 Colossians 3:1-17 NASB

Put On the New Self

"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

 Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.  For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come  upon the sons of disobedience,  and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them.  But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.  Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,  and have put on the new self who is being  renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him—  a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all. So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;  bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.  Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.  Let the peace of Christ  rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.  Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.  Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

LIFE APPLICATION:

Please take time this week to study, meditate on, and commit to memory these verses.  Each morning, make it your goal to obey what these commands teach.  Write down ten things you will begin to do immediately.  Example: Read the Bible regularly, and write out some songs of praise and thanksgiving.  Share with others!  Send your song to sister WenWen for her to post on the blog radio program.  Remember, being filled with the Holy Spirit empowers us to live a righteous life.  Find another woman and be accountable for how you dress each day!